Quotes
 Ernie: I don`t think we`re dealing with an ordinary mouse. Lars: I don`t believe it. He snapped the trap, ate the olive and left the pit just to mock us!
Ernie: I think you`re giving him a little too much credit. Mice don`t mock. They don`t have a sense of humor or irony. He`s not sitting in his hole in a smoking jacket sipping cognac, and giggling to himself, "I left the pit!" The trap snapped itself, the olive flew off and he ate it. It`s just that simple. But now that he knows we`re here, he won`t come within a mile of us. I don`t think we`ll be seeing any more of that...
[sees mouse in cereal bowl]
Ernie: MOUSE!
Ernie: He`s Hitler with a tail. He`s "The Omen" with whiskers. Even Nostradamus didn`t see him coming!
[Quoting his father]
Lars: A world without string is chaos.
Ernie: We`re looking for a cat. And preferably with a history of mental illness. I`m talkin` one mean pussy.
Ernie: [bowing to the Sheik at the auction] Hakuna Matata.
Ernie: No capers? But that`s just grilled cheese. What`s the point? Why don`t they eat out of a trough!
[addressing the clients of the diner]
Ernie: Which one of you palateless sheep sent my sandwich back?
Ernie: I`m gonna build an Olympic-sized swimming pool and fill it with pina coladas and a college sorority.
Ernie: Shh! He`s goin` for the cherries!
Lars: I thought you said mice like Gouda.
Ernie: Not in the morning! Cheese tires them out. They need fruit for energy.
Caesar: I`ve activated the Squeak Seeker 2000.
Ernie: Just think of all the trouble we could have saved ourselves if we just threw fruit at him in the first place!
Alexander: There`s a lot of Eurotrash out there scarfin` up the shrimps.
Ernie: [speaking in a fake French accent while serving the Mayor and his wife] Duck a l`Orange avec du quack sauce. And for ze Mayor, la specialty de la maison, Lobster Loaf a la Ernst ou la bibliotheque.
Ernie: [to Lars] Come on. You loved string!
Lars: I didn`t love string!
Ernie: Well, you could have fooled me! You and Pop were always huddled together running some piece of something through your fingers. It didn`t matter what I did. I didn`t even exist! I made him my special rack of lamb for his 70th birthday.
Lars: [sighing in resignation] Oh, no!
Ernie: Yes! You remember. I slaved over that meal, making sure everything was perfect. Did he say, "Thanks, Ernie, it was delicious?" No. He only noticed the string I had tied it with.
Lawyer: [about their new house] It`s interesting. it seems the previous owner was found locked in a trunk in the attic...
Lars: [as his wife is packing a suitcase] Please, April, don`t go.
April Smuntz: I`m not going anywhere.
[frame cuts to Lars standing on the porch with the suitcase]
The Mayor`s Wife: [after the mayor swallows a cockroach and passes out] Oh, no, not again!
Ernie: [Ernie is being bombarded by angry factory workers] Light a match; they`re frightened by fire!
Ernie: [Caesar is being carried out on a stretcher] Caeser! Are you all right? Try to think, did you catch that mouse?
Caesar: What`s that? Horse? *Fiendish*! I won`t eat it!
[he has lost his mind]
Caesar: Aaaagh!
[he begins chattering like a mouse]
Ernie: I like to use both sides of my brain
April Smuntz: Does a wife need a reason to visit?
[takes champagne glass from passing waiter]
April Smuntz: I didn`t know you were entertaining.
Ernie: Don`t you mean *ex*wife?
April Smuntz: That remains to be seen.
Lars: [Ernie`s in the hospital after being hit by a bus] Ernie, are you okay? I came as soon as I heard.
Ernie: Why are you wearing a pink overcoat?
Lars: Because April gave us the 1200 dollars!
Lars: Look! You blew a hole in the floor!
Ernie: And I distinctly remember somebody yelling, "Shoot! Shoot!"
Lars: Yeah, well you never listened to me before!
Lars: You think I didn`t have other things I wanted to do with my life? You think I didn`t have ambitions of my own?
Ernie: Ambitions?
[laughs]
Ernie: Come on, you love string!
Ernie: [making speech and as he does, the mouse is within the podium. Ernie tries to crush it with the gavel, and yells out words as he hits the gavel] When Quincy Thorpe of the Historical society told us the value of this house, you, uh, could have KNOCKED us over with a feather! We, uh, we didn`t know what HIT US! The house was in terrible disrepair, but it wa snothing that a few NAILS... and some old fashioned elbow grease couldn`t fix.
Ingrid: Hilde, the spool is smoking!
Ernie: Hey! Don`t go!
[indicationg the flood in the house]
Ernie: A demonstration of how durable a LaRue really is! Now you know this house will last *forever*!
[the house crashes down]
Alexander: I own eveything of LaRue. His books, his letters.
[signifies shoes]
Alexander: You see these shoes?
Ernie, Lars: LaRue`s?
Alexander: No, but I`m sure he would have loved them.
Caesar: You got asbestos all right.
[points to floor]
Caesar: I`ll bet it`s up in the ceiling mostly. Should take me only a day, or two, to remove it.
Lars: We made love in a way I`ve-I`ve only ever seen in nature films!
Caesar: You have to get inside their mind. You have to know what they want, need. You have to think... like a mouse!
Alexander: [talking to Ernie] You know, it would be a shame if you boys put on this auction and nobody bid.
Lars: [the two have the mouse and are about to crush him with a fire poker] Ernie, he`s a living thing!
Ernie: Not for long! Give me that!
[he tries to whack it, but can`t]
Ernie: I CAN`T!
[sobs]
Ernie: I can`t hit him with a fire poker, it just isn`t very sportsmanlike!
Lars: Ernie, we`d better do something quick; I think he`s coming to!
Ernie: [the next shot shows that they are taking the mouse in a box to the post office] Ah, I forgot to put *holes* in the box!
[chuckles evilly]
Lars: You used to love string.
April Smuntz: That was before, when I was dating the son of wealthy string magnate! Not now when I am married to the half owner of a worthless deathtrap!
Crying Child: [screams] No, no, no, Fluffy! No! No, I want my kitty! No! No! No! No! No! Fluffy!
Lars: Wow, did you feel that?
Ernie: What?
Lars: I got a chill. You should never talk about Pop like that.
Ernie: Really? What`s this do for you?
[shouting]
Ernie: Thanks for nothing, you string-sucking old loon!
Lars: He didn`t mean it, Pop.
Lars: Ah, you must be Caesar.
Ernie: Hello, Mr. Caesar. Glad you could come so quickly.
Caesar: Shh.
[has a quick look-around]
Caesar: You have mice.
Lars: [under his breath] He`s good.
Ernie: Caesar, what happened? Did you kill the mouse?
Caesar: What`s that? Horse fiendish! I won`t eat it! Aah!
Lars: Some things are more important than money, Ernie.
Ernie: Notice it`s always the financially challenged who say that.
[first lines]
Lars: [at their father`s funeral, they carry his coffin down the steps of a cathedral] Hold your end up higher, you`re not holding it.
Ernie: I am too.
Lars: You are not.
Ernie: Don`t worry about me. Hey, isn`t that suit charcoal?
Lars: No.
Ernie: Looks charcoal gray to me, some gray polyester blend. Couldn`t even find a black suit for your own father`s funeral.
Lars: It`s black.
Ernie: No, I`m sure it`s gray.
Lars: It`s black.
Ernie: Grey.
Lars: Black.
Ernie: Grey.
Lars: Black!
Ernie: Fine, it`s black. It`s the grayest black I`ve ever seen.
Lars: It doesn`t matter what color it is!
[the handle on the coffin breaks off and the coffin slides down the steps]
Lars: I`m sorry, Pop! I`m sorry!
Trivia
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Ernie Smuntz bows to a sheik who is seeking to bid for his home. In doing so, he greets him with "Hakuna Matata," which is the song he sings in The Lion King (1994).
In a few of the scenes where there is a close up of the mouse in the walls, they used a rat as a "body double".
A rare commercial spot for the film not included in the either the VHS or DVD features a dramatic voice-over introduction "A story about a mouse..." which slowly pans to the shadow outline of the famous Disney character. Then the camera quickly cuts to show that it`s actually the little guy from Mousehunt holding a pair of toothpick speared olives which he had been holding close to his head.
Eric Christmas` last film
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