I have the show because I`m insecure. It`s my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I love standup and I haven`t given it up.

People are going to see both of us and think it`s an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It`s not an easy switch. It`s not an easy transition from TV to film.

If my father had hugged me even once, I`d be an accountant right now.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You`ll realize this as soon as they`re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

You don`t want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

I wanted to do something different, but it`s a weird transition you`re making here. You`re trying to get the audience to come with you.

If I`m really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

If I`m really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way.

At The 57th Annual Golden Globe Awards (2000) (TV): "I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you."

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.