I am just too much.

Damn it...Don`t you dare ask God to help me. [Last words, spoken to her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.]

If you`ve earned a position, be proud of it. Don`t hide it. I want to be recognized. When I hear people say, `There`s Joan Crawford!` I turn around and say, `Hi! How are you!`

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

It has been said that on screen I personified the American woman.

Look, there`s nothing wrong with my tits, but I don`t go around throwing them in people`s faces! (Crawford, criticizing Marilyn Monroe .

I think the most important thing a woman can have - next to talent, of course - is her hairdresser.

I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend!

I have always known what I wanted, and that was beauty... in every form.

I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend.

If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend you don`t need an analyst.

Recently I heard a `wise guy` story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It`s an interesting story, but I don`t know twenty-five men I`d want to invite ta a party.

I was born in front of a camera and really don`t know anything else.

I think that the most important thing a woman can have - next to talent, of course - is her hairdresser.

I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

I never go outside unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

[on director George Cukor] Mr. Cukor is a hard task-master, a fine director and he took me over the coals giving me the roughest time I have ever had. And I am eternally grateful.

"Working with Bette Davis was my greatest challenge and I mean that kindly. She liked to scream and yell. I just sit and knit. During the filming of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), I knitted a scarf from Hollywood to Malibu".

"If you`re going to be a star, you have to look like a star, and I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door."

"If you`ve earned a position, be proud of it. Don`t hide it. I want to be recognized. When I hear people say, Joan Crawford !` I turn around and say, `Hi! How are you!`"

"Hollywood is like life, you face it with the sum total of your equipment."

"I love playing bitches. There`s a lot of bitch in every woman - a lot in every man."

"You`re right. She was cheap, and an exhibitionist. She was never professional, and that irritated the hell out of people. But for God`s sake, she needed help. She had all these people on her payroll. Where they hell were they when she needed them? Why in the hell did she have to die alone?" (Speaking to director George Cukor after learning of Marilyn Monroe `s death)

"If I can`t be me, I don`t want to be anybody. I was born that way."

"I`d like to think every director I`ve worked with has fallen in love with me, I know Dorothy Arzner did."

"Of all the actresses ... to me, only Faye Dunaway has the talent and the class and the courage it takes to make a real star."

There was a saying around M-G-M - " Norma Shearer got the productions, Greta Garbo` supplied the art, and Joan Crawford made the money to pay for both."

"Not that anyone cares,but there`s a right and wrong way to clean a house."

"Send me flowers while I`m alive. They won`t do me a damn bit of good after I`m dead."

"Look, there`s nothing wrong with my tits, but I don`t go around throwing them in people`s faces!" (Crawford, criticizing Marilyn Monroe .)

"Recently I heard a `wise guy` story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It`s an interesting story, but I don`t know twenty-five men I`d want to invite to a party."

"You have to be self-reliant and strong to survive in this town. Otherwise you will be destroyed."

"Women`s Lib? Poor little things. They always look so unhappy. Have you noticed how bitter their faces are?"

"Mother and daughter feuds make for reams in print; they also make for reams of inaccuracies: the greatest inaccuracy is the feud itself. It takes two to feud and I`m not one of them. I only wish the best for Tina." - in reference to the ongoing fued between herself and her daughter Christina

"I think the most important thing a woman can have -- next to talent, of course, is -- her hairdresser."

"Nobody can imitate me. You can always see impersonations of Katharine Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. But not me. Because I`ve always drawn on myself only."

"Love is fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."

"I hate being asked to discuss those dreadful horror pictures I made the mistake of starring in. They were all just so disappointing to me, I really had high expectations for some of them. I thought that William Castle and I did our best on Strait-Jacket (1964) but the script was ludicrous and unbelievable and that destroyed that picture. I even thought that _Berserk! (1968)_ would be good but that was one of the worst of the lot. The other one William Castle and I did was the most wretched of them all and I just wasn`t good at playing an over-the-hill nymphomaniac. Ha! Then came Trog (1970). Now you can understand why I retired from making motion pictures. Incidentally, I think at that point in my career I was doing my best work on television. Della was a good television role for me, and I really liked working on that pilot episode of Night Gallery (1969) (TV) with young Steven Spielberg. He did a great job and I am very satisfied with my performance on that show. Funny, every time a reporter asks me about my horror pictures they never talk about that one, and it`s the only one I liked!"

"I realized one morning that Trog (1970) was going to be my last picture. I had to be up early for the shoot and when I looked outside at the beautiful morning sky I felt that it was time to say goodbye. I think that may have been a prophetic thought because when I arrived on the set that morning the director told me that due to budget cuts we would wrap up filming today. The last shot of that film was a one-take and it was a very emotional moment for me. When I was walking up that hill towards the sunset I was flooded with memories of the last 50 years, and when the director yelled cut I just kept on walking. That for me was the perfect way to end my film career, however the audiences who had to sit through that picture may feel differently."

"If I weren`t a Christian Scientist, and I saw Trog (1970) advertised on a marquee across the street, I`d think I`d contemplate suicide."

"They were all terrible, even the few I thought might be good. I made them because I needed the money or because I was bored or both. I hope they have been exhibited and withdrawn and are never heard from again." - regarding her films that followed _What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)_.

"If you start watching the oldies, you`re in trouble. I feel ancient if Grand Hotel (1932) or The Bride Wore Red (1937) comes on. I have a sneaking regard for _Mildred Pierce (1945)_, but the others do nothing for me."

"If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend, you don`t need an analyst."

"[In The Women (1939)] Norma Shearer made me change my costume sixteen times because every one was prettier than hers. I love to play bitches and she _helped_ me in this part."

"If you want to see the girl next door, go next door"

"I need sex for a clear complexion, but I`d rather do it for love."