[on co- starring with Gwyneth Paltrow for the first time in Shallow Hal (2001)] You know, I WAS a little afraid that she would fall head-over-heels in love with me, like she did [when co-starring] with Brad Pitt in Se7en (1995).

[about Shallow Hal (2001)] I wasn`t proud of it, and I got paid a lot of money, so in retrospect it feels like a sell-out.

[on his part and his tights in Nacho Libre (2006)] At first I would have rather been naked to tell you the truth, because I just look so goddang ridiculous. But then I thought, "Wait, that`s my job. The stretchy pants are my friends. I love the stretchy pants!" It just took a little mental adjustment, because I know that when I`m embarrassed and scared about acting, that means I`m going to get some good life-nugget knowledge out of it. And I love the knowledge nuggets."

I`d rather be the king of kids, than the prince of fools.

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

I`m hungry for rock 24/7.

I was a little worried about working with kids. I wanted to make sure we didn`t approach it tip-toeing around the stuff that would normally be funny, or make it gentle, rock-a-bye-baby bullshit.

I`d just like to be in films that I would like to see. I think of myself as an entertainment arsenal. Like I have my acting bazooka and my music machete. And you don`t know what I`m going to come at you with.

[Of his role in Margot at the Wedding (2007)] I had to show some darker sides of myself than I have in roles past. It was challenging. I was most worried about the crying scenes and the nudity. But I sucked it up and went to those places because I just had to look over at Jennifer [Jason Leigh] who was so fearless in her performance.

Never for a second did I think of myself as the sexiest guy in the world. When I was a kid, I thought I was the strongest man in the world. Then, the fastest runner and then the smartest person in the world. One by one my delusions got shut down. Now I just see myself as the lamest guy in the world.

If Beethoven and Bach hooked up with Mozart and made a band, they could be a distant runner up to The D.

If Beethoven and Bach hooked up with Mozart and made a band, they COULD be a distant runner up to The D.

The movie Spinal Tap rocked my world. It`s for rock what The Sound of Music was for hills. They really nailed how dumb rock can be.

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

I played, like, a year of piano until I learned The Pink Panther (1963) theme. That was my goal. Once I was good enough, I quit. Now, my music has to have some rock.

There`s nothing you can really do to prepare to rock. Do you prepare to eat a delicious meal? Are you hungry? Then you`re gonna eat it.

The movie This Is Spinal Tap (1984) rocked my world. It`s for rock what The Sound of Music (1965) was for hills. They really nailed how dumb rock can be.

[On filming the love scene in Shallow Hal (2001)] It was just strictly professional. It was like a doctor or a carpenter plying his trade. I received no pleasure whatsoever . . . I requested 32 takes for the perfection of the craft.

We`re in the dark ages if J-Lo can have a music career because of her ass. And let`s face it, that`s it.

There`s nothing you can really do to prepare to rock. Do you prepare to eat a delicious meal? Are you hungry? Then you`re gonna eat it.

I played, like, a year of piano until I learned the Pink Panther theme. That was my goal. Once I was good enough, I quit. Now my music has to have some rock.

I`d rather be the king of kids, than the prince of fools.

I`m no Matt Damon, my goal was to be a character actor. I never thought I would get leads the way that I`ve been able to in the past two years.

[when asked about his cooking skills] I make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I should take down someone who is strong, so Steven Seagal would be perfect - with his ridiculous Indian gear, ponytail and swagger. He`s the best fighter in the world in his own mind, so I`ll take him down two notches with my Anaconda Squeeze and Face Melter.

[talking about his experiences early on in his career] It wasn`t about control. It was about the co-lla-bo. There`s great directors who treat actors like cattle, but I hated it, and I knew if I ever had a choice, I didn`t want to work with those guys. Who said that thing about actors and cattle? Hitchcock [Alfred Hitchcock]? Yeah, I don`t want to work with that dude."