Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.

We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

Racism isn`t born, folks, it`s taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them.

I want you to take away the hope because that`s the thing that`s killing me.

I`ve eaten things that didn`t complain this much.

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nuture.

I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time.

Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you`re a Hall of Famer. I don`t think like those guys who say, "I`m hot again, so I`ve got to get back into a big movie."

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn`t get laid.

My biggest regret in life is that I didn`t hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: "I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That`s the important thing."

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he`s still as funny as he`s ever been, and he`s still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I`ll still be able to work.