Press the any key ... hmmm where`s the any key?

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

When I first did The Tracey Ullman Show, there were times when I could offer a solution on stage, and I could understand the writers.

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was a very unique episode, since there was a gay secretary, but that wasn`t even the issue of the show-the issue was Homer`s image changing because he had hair.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I`m tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time, being a cartoon gives the writers more freedom than in a normal sitcom. It always pushes the line that, despite human failings, the Simpsons are really decent people.

I`ve made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn`t matter what it is as long as I`m acting.

The Simpsons take up so little time that I`m able to do other things as well.

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Don`t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you`re married you have to cut through that.

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it`s really, really hard to do something different when you have a show going on as long as this has.

The Simpsons can go anywhere in the world and not worry about any budgetary issues. However, even when the show has had its run, I think the characters can go on in perpetuity.

There are times when the writers ask us to improvise. Sometimes the animators are inspired by what you do, and sometimes you are inspired by what the animators do.

I think that most people don`t even know that I do other things. They think that Homer is all that I do.

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I`m known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he`s just much misguided. He`s boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

Go ahead and play the blues if it`ll make you happy.

It`s hard to find a play that`s right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I`d be getting scripts out the wazoo.

I often say, if I wasn`t part of the show I`d be a huge fan of it.

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in college. That`s one of the reasons I went down to Second City, because you could do acting and writing.

The voice doesn`t take a lot of effort now, but in the beginning it was hard to try to find a voice. The one I settled on was just easier to do for a half-hour.

Beer. Now there`s a temporary solution.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you`re prejudiced against all races.