Quotes
 Here`s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life`s problems. When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
(thinkexist.com)
I don`t have to be careful, I`ve got a gun
(thinkexist.com)
Me fail english? Thats unpossible.
(thinkexist.com)
I`m a level 5 vegan, I don`t eat anything that casts a shadow.
(quotationspage.com)
[when asked "Is there a God?"] "If there is, all evidence indicates that He hates me."
(imdb.com)
All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say `Yo Goober! Where`s the meat!?` I`m trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don`t win friends with salad.
(quotationspage.com)
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
(quotationspage.com)
All right, brain, you don`t like me, and I don`t like you, but let`s just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
(quotationspage.com)
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life`s problems.
(quotationspage.com)
Cartooning is for people who can`t quite draw and can`t quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.
(imdb.com)
Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
(quotationspage.com)
Aren`t we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
(quotationspage.com)
On the [Simpsons] TV show, a joke has to pass muster about 100 times before it gets on the air. On the movie, it`s probably 1,000 times. There are jokes that were funny the first 350 times, and then, the 351st time, we go, `Ah, I`m kinda tired of that`, so we change it. And what stays in are the most obvious, dumb, visceral, knee jerk, mayhem gags. Any time a character falls down, gets kicked in the face, hit in the head... anything involving head injuries. We work so hard on the wittiest dialog, involving sophisticated references to books and movies, and then what gets a laugh is Homer belching after drinking beer. It keeps you humble.
(imdb.com)
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
(quotationspage.com)
It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
(quotationspage.com)
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
(quotationspage.com)
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It`s what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
(quotationspage.com)
Donuts. Is there anything they can`t do?
(quotationspage.com)
I can`t believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
(quotationspage.com)
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
(quotationspage.com)
How could you?! Haven`t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn`t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
(quotationspage.com)
What good is money if it can`t inspire terror in your fellow man?
(quotationspage.com)
I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
(quotationspage.com)
If something is too hard to do, then it`s not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we`ll go inside and watch TV.
(quotationspage.com)
Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
(quotationspage.com)
If it doesn`t have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
(quotationspage.com)
I`ll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
(quotationspage.com)
I`m a writer who just happens to draw
(imdb.com)
Commenting on the Simpsons bar Moe`s Tavern and taverns in general: "I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go. And there is nothing nice about Moe`s Tavern. It`s just a creepy, dark place. And there are never any women in there."
(imdb.com)
The history of TV has traditionally been not to do anything that would scandalize Grandma or upset Junior. Our solution on The Simpsons is to do jokes that people who have an education, or some frame of reference, can get. And for the ones who don`t, it doesn`t matter, because we have Homer banging his head and saying, `D`oh!`
(imdb.com)
I`m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I`m going to Hell?
(quotationspage.com)
I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
(quotationspage.com)
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that`s even remotely true!
(quotationspage.com)
I`m better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can`t compete with that stuff.
(quotationspage.com)
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
(quotationspage.com)
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
(quotationspage.com)
There`s an empty spot I`ve always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.
(quotationspage.com)
Good things don`t end in `eum,` they end in `mania`...or `teria`.
(quotationspage.com)
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
(quotationspage.com)
Trivia
Many members of the Simpson family are named for members of his own family: Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa, and Patty. In order to avoid insulting another family member by making him the namesake of a Simpsons character, he left Homer's father unnamed. The writers of the show named him Abraham. Coincidentally, Groening's own middle name is Abram. In 1993, he named his second son Abe.
(imdb.com)
Is a big Godzilla fan. The monster even makes a cameo appearance in "Simpsons, The" (1989) {Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo (#10.23)}_ with fellow monsters Mothra, Rodan and Gamera.
(imdb.com)
The Comic Book Guy, a character in "The Simpsons" (1989) is a version of what Matt Groening considers himself to be like.
(imdb.com)
Insists that his last name is properly pronounced "GRAY-ning" (rhymes with "raining"), as opposed to "GRO-ning" (rhymes with "moaning").
(imdb.com)
Graduate of Lincoln High School - Portland, Oregon
(imdb.com)
He graduated from The Evergreen State College, a small 4-year liberal arts college, where he was editor of the school paper his final year.
(imdb.com)
A big fan of The Residents. In 1979 he wrote "The True Story of The Residents".
(imdb.com)
1978: Sold his first cartoon strip to "Wet", a Los Angeles-based, avant-garde magazine.
(imdb.com)
After his divorce in 1999, he lived together with dating expert Lauren Frances for six years.
(imdb.com)
Brother-in-law of Craig Bartlett.
(imdb.com)
He says his last name rhymes with "complaining".
(imdb.com)
Said in an interview with LA weekly that the band Sonic Youth's version of "The Simpsons" (1989) theme song is his favorite cover version of it.
(imdb.com)
Creator of "Life in Hell", "Akbar and Jeff", "The Simpsons" (1989), and "Futurama" (1999).
(imdb.com)
His parents were Homer and Margaret, and his sisters were Lisa and Maggie.
(imdb.com)
An American citizen, born in Springfield, Oregon, he is half-Canadian.
(imdb.com)
Son of Homer Groening, animator and producer of surf movies.
(imdb.com)
Despite the fact that there are many "Star Trek" references in both "The Simpsons" (1989) and "Futurama" (1999), he claims to have never seen a complete episode of "Star Trek" (1966).
(imdb.com)
Two sons - Homer (born in 1991), Abe (born in 1993).
(imdb.com)
He said in a 1990 interview, that Bart Simpson was based partly on Dennis the Menace and himself as a child. Bart's original name was to be 'Matt' but he changed it because it sounded too closely-related. The name Bart is an anagram of 'brat'.
(imdb.com)
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